How do you turn when laying in bed?
OK. Let's see what I am talking about.
Imagine you are laying on your bed, on your left side. Then, your leg gets crampy, or your hip starts tingling, or your foot gets numb. You need to turn to the other side, meaning the right side, right?
Oh, yes, you should see a doctor, with all these symptoms, I know. But you are in bed, trying to sleep.
Now, you are turning to the other side. So, you turn your pitiful body belly up, as the first stage of this process, am I right? You may moan in pain, and try to stretch a little, but you are belly up.
Up, towards the ceiling.
On the second stage of turning, you slowly lay on your right side. Bingo! You did it.
Not my husband.
He is weird. He is.
My husband turns belly down! He turns from one side to the other, belly down! He faces the pillow/mattress first, and then, turns! Isn't it weird?
I tried doing as he does, but almost suffocated on my pillow. I cannot turn that fast, holly shit! So, I found myself struggling like a turtle, facing my pillow and thinking someone needed to call 911.
- 911. What's your emergency?
- My wife! My wife cannot turn. She is suffocating!
- Your wife is suffocating?
- Yes! I need help!
- Who is suffocating your wife?
- The pillow! Send help, please!
- The pillow is suffocating your wife?
- YES!... Damn it! I said so already. Are you sending help or not?
- Sir. Keep calm. So back to your wife. The pillow is suffocating her. Now, who is holding the pillow?
- Nobody! She tried to turn like me and got stuck, face down on the pillow!
And she died. The police came and found her cold dead, face down on the pillow.
All these thoughts passed through my mind the night I tried turning in bed like my husband.
HE is weird, not me.
5 comments:
Hello! I just dropped by to thank you for your visit to Mucky Boots, and for the inventive suggestion for dealing with our hens' broodiness. I will let them know right away that this is what they're in store for if they don't snap out of it!
What a delightful blog you have! Of course my eyes went to Pickles Elaine right away, because my first beloved cat friend was a tortoiseshell cat - Miss Sheba-Beeba. Please give Pickles Elaine my regards!
As for turning belly down, don't do that any more. K? :)
Now that you mention it, I'm not really sure how I turn...I'll have to think about it! ;-))
I can turn either way, not a problem. It all depends on which dog is in the way or holding the covers down. :-)
I turn both ways too!!! xxx
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