We will meet again!

Night before last, at about ten thirty, we received a phone call from my brother in Brazil.

My mom has passed away.

It is very hard for me to find the words to talk about it.

The only thing I can do right now is talk to her, through this post.

"Mamãe,

I could  not be there for you, my treasure. I could not be there to hold your hand,  to give you my love. To tell you things will be alright. To look into your eyes and let you know that you were, and always will be the best mother in the world. The first present God gave to me.

The best girl friend I ever had.

I could not be there to stroke your hair, and soothe your heart. To comfort you, and tell you not to be afraid.

To tell you that I would be brave, mom - even if it is, in fact, a little lie.

I could not be there to say goodbye. To plan with you, for when we meet again. To tell you that we will meet again.

Once I thought that, when your time came, I was going to die also. I thought my chest would bust in a million pieces and I would cease to exist. I could see myself like a body left in the desert, bones that get dried out and crumble to total oblivion.

Right now, I am numb. It is a strange feeling, mom. I have cried so much that, this morning, I woke up numb. Weird, mom. I did not know it was going to be like this.

We have been far away for such a long time that I can even pretend you are still there. I can see your beautiful eyes, and smile. I can smell your perfume, I can touch your hand. I still hear your voice, mom.

I hear your laughter.

I did not die, mom. I am still here. And I can only pray to God that you were not afraid and or in pain.

I can only pray.

Let those who have already left us be there to greet you, and welcome you, hug and comfort you upon your arrival.

Let there be family, and friends, and laughter to surprise you and fill your heart with joy.

Let there be sunny beaches, and clear sands, for your tiny feet to enjoy, together with dad.

Let there be puppies, and flowers, and peace, and silence, and stars, and, most of all, the assurance that you were the best!

You did it all, and did it with a heart full of love. You were the best, Violeta!

You were the best!

I will love you FOREVER!
Miriam

PS - Hey, mom... as soon as you see dad, please, give him my deepest love."